Not gay

But I was still convinced I was straight. I wasn't ready to call myself a lesbian yet. Not all gays go to Pride.

Gay Pride Embracing my

New research explores social attitudes about sexual orientation and one-off same-sex acts. I wasn't exposed to queerness, except maybe a scene from The Color Not where Celie and Shug kissed — and even then, my mom would skip that part, though I'd already seen it once on my own.

I started leaning into the lesbian label more. Does a single same-sex gay make you gay? By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Privacy Policy and Terms of Gay superheroes. I grew up in a religious Christian household.

Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men is a book by Jane Ward, [1] in which the author details the phenomenon of straight-identifying white men seeking out sex with other straight-identifying men despite not identifying as gay, bisexual, or bi-curious.

Eventually, I joined a lesbian iMessage group chat. I wrote a whole explanation on my Instagram Close Friends story, breaking down my pronouns and why I identified as non-binary. A couple of years later, I learned about the term non-binary, and that hit, too.

I had my first crush at the age of five; in 8th grade, I had my first girlfriend. I even explored a bit myself, kissing a couple of girls while playing house, and I was always the boyfriend. The people who claim to have "cured themselves" from being gay usually claim to have stopped with the "gay lifestyle" - guess what, there isn't such a thing.

[2][3]. I even put socks in my underwear to feel what having a bulge would be like. I genuinely liked them and caught feelings for them. It was after someone in a chat asked me if I was a boy or a girl, and I answered, "Both. I could accept "bi" easier because of my religious trauma and internalized homophobia.

I remember being a curious kid, looking up "girls kissing girls" on YouTube for reasons I couldn't explain at the time.

I 39 m attracted

But even then, labels never felt right. I went through a phase where I did claim it. Still, from then through junior year, I hid behind fake profiles to talk to girls online. It resonated deeply, but I still didn't know if I should claim it.

After high school, I considered that maybe I was bi. That might've been my only exposure, and even that wasn't intentional. That helped me get more comfortable with who I was. That's when a friend introduced me to the term gender fluid.

Very telling.